When we lose the ones we love, we say some words. We remember them. We reminisce about the good times, and it’s for the memory of the ones we lose as well as for ourselves. Sarah was not given a proper funeral. This was due to her status of being Shunned (Disfellowshipped) from her religion, and as her husband I’ve not had closure. Because of this I’ve carried a burden and words unspoken for the last few years, and no one knows her full story – her struggles and final moments. Thank you to Michael Shemwell for helping me work through my loss and for putting together a way to remember Sarah and share her story.
Sarah Nelson Harding will always be remembered by many as the light in the room, and the life of the group! She had such energy, and fun about her, a love for life and desire to grow. She was very artistic and expressed her feelings through drawing and painting, and had a wide range of loved music that was close to her heart to cover all of the emotions.
She was adventurous and outgoing, and more so than I thought I ever was! Nearly every amazing memory I have was with her, and she only graced my life for less than 5 years. We polar plunged in the Fox River in the middle of a Chicago winter, and dove from the tops of cliffs into Cenotes in Mexico!! We rode a catamaran in the Caribbean and went Skydiving (indoor though)! She introduced me to karaoke and my own love of music, even meeting a political figure while singing karaoke one night, which turned into a dear friend of ours! She had a way about her, even when she sang in front on a crowd of strangers, she had no inhibitions and would belt out Journey as if she was on tour!! I would never have known that someone could sing so beautifully and be out of key!! Every time, she would get standing applause from the entire room!!
We had a practice of eating healthy and being active, and that woman was very strong! Her red hair gave her the nickname of Red Beast!! And I was Uber Beast, to follow suit with the nickname and not necessarily because I was fit.
She couldn’t have children of her own, but she fiercely loved her niece and nephew, and her friends children that she referred to as her minions! But she would have been a wonderful mother had she had the opportunity.
Sarah had so much life ahead of her! And I miss her every day, as many do. I can only imagine the pain in the heart of her family and friends that willfully shunned her and caused her great pain. They believe they were doing what God wanted them to do. I do not blame them. Rather, I encourage them to be WILLING to ask questions and seek answers. Shunning someone you love does not feel good, because it isn’t. Someone else is telling you to lose your natural affection for someone in order to blackmail them to come back on hands and knees for an offense that you are not allowed to know the details of. Don’t be manipulated.
Truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged.
– Cameron
The song that Cameron chose to represent Sarah’s story is Far Behind by Candlebox.
Support Cameron by leaving him a comment HERE
Support the show by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned
Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let’s talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach. Click HERE for more information.
Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com
Join our Shunned Podcast Facebook group HERE
Leave us a review on iTunes
Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here.
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.
You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show.
This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app or on YouTube. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.
For Shunned Podcast listeners that want to see the montage at the end of the episode, you can view that as a standalone here on the YouTube channel without having to watch the entire video above:
I’ve watched almost every Shunned podcast, but this one shook me to my core…
Cameron, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t relate exactly, but there is one part of your story about Sarah that resonated so deeply that it crushed me…her reaction when the NC elders said they wouldn’t even discuss her reinstatement until it had been a year. You didn’t go into a lot of detail, but you didn’t have to, not for someone who has experienced it.
I don’t think there is anything more heartbreaking or scary than to watch the light go out of a person’s eyes. You want to stay positive for them, and you want to urge them to fight (and you do), but deep in your own essence, you know that it’s only a matter of time before the battle ends and that it’s not going to be a happy outcome.
And when the battle does end…even though you know you did everything you could for them…you still feel like you failed them. The guilt is overwhelming and sometimes feels as if it’s going to swallow you.
Just know that you did everything you could for Sarah. You did not fail her, her religion did. She could not have asked for a better person to be by her side. She knew you were in her corner and that you had her back. You did everything short of fighting her battle for her, and I have no doubt that if you could have done that, you would have.
I don’t know if anything I’ve written here is helpful or supportive, but I just wanted to let you know that at least one person understands. I hope you continue to heal and work through your grief and find ways to keep Sarah’s memory alive.
Take care,
Kim
This was so moving . Your pain and love resonates with me. As they say the deeper the love the deeper the pain. The legacy of Sarah’s life , will live on. Her value and spirit of her life, will live on. And while your heart beats , Sarah lives. God Bless you, and your integrity.
Hello Kim,
Thank you for this! Thank you for understanding, and you are totally correct. It was heartbreaking to witness this, to see the pain and damage caused as she crumbled, and the regrets were crushing. So many regrets that I’m finally getting a handle on. What you wrote was truly helpful for me and supportive – Thank you!
Cameron
What a helpless feeling you must be left with. So heartbreaking that her short, beautiful life was taken from her by a group of old men. So sorry for your loss.