After a night spent with her boyfriend talking, a relationship that as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses she wasn’t supposed to have because he wasn’t in the cult, a phone call comes in from Elizabeth’s father wanting to know where she is. After replying that she was at Waffle House planning a wedding with her friend and that she just lost track of time, she told her boyfriend that now they had to go to Waffle House. Why? Because she had to “make it be true”.
If those four words aren’t the epitome of what it is to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I don’t know what is. The desire to “make it be true”, to ignore all evidence to the contrary, to continue to uphold a dedication coerced through cult influence often as children, and to justify the sunk cost at all costs, is what leads so many to stay in something that isn’t good for them. It leads to people living an inauthentic life because they’re in so far that they have to “make it be true” because the cost of leaving is so high although they’ve already lost so much while being in. Elizabeth has such a story of her own to share, including a harrowing experience with a predatory cult member that she was saved from just before it got much worse.
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This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app or on YouTube. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.
Music provided by Jane and the Boy, entitled Save Myself.
So proud of you for taking a stand for yourself and your wants and needs. I too left the org for an unbelieving man, who I have been with now for two years. I Went through so much drama for that. But it’s been totally worth it. It’s too bad our families can’t just be happy for us, but it’s their loss. They fear that they will die at Armageddon if they show you support. It’s nice to hear you don’t hold any guilt or shame, and you can think clearly and reasonably about the whole situation. If we didn’t live so far away, I would love to meet you and Zach. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂
Just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated your story! I also lived in Tampa as a kid and then moved to Knoxville, and still live here now! Such a coincidence! I am also currently shunned by both my parents as well as my teenage and young adult children, who are still active witnesses. I also left with the full intention just taking a break, and truly hoped that the “truth” would be proved right to me and I would finally “get it” and I could change what I assumed was my own wrong heart. Little did I know, this would not be what happened! Despite all the loss, I can truly not imagine things ever going back, especially because of the all the amazing relationships I’ve built and real “truths” I’ve learned.
Thank you for sharing your story!