What is it like to move around the country multiple times as a child? To not have a consistent place to live? To be placed into foster care at times? To do all of this while growing up exposed to a cult, and then to have a catastrophic moment that pushes you farther in? Ramil’s story involves all of this, and much more. He found solace in cult teachings, found a place to belong by pioneering and getting involved in the ASL congregations, but then he also had a secret all along, part of his identity that he tried so hard to deny. This is a story of overcoming a lot of instability and the strength it takes to build an authentic and stable life.
The song chosen by Ramil to represent his story is Beautiful by P.O.D.
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This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app or on YouTube. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah’s Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.
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Music by Fair Voyeur entitled “No Hell Yet”.
Thank you for sharing your story. At the end you said you wanted to study but have a problem with retention. Earlier in your story you recalled sitting through meetings and not taking in what was being said . I did the same from 3 years old had to sit and listen to talks and be quiet as we all did .I believe this was detrimental to my learning at school I could just switch off. I hope you resume your studies in small bites till your brain overcomes this condition. I wish you well in your personal life and your recovery from this destructive religion. Heather.
Thank you so much Heather. That’s exactly my plan, to just take one class at a time, until I feel comfortable taking on more as time goes on. I appreciate the kind words and encouragement. Thank you. 🙂
Hey Ramil
Thanks so much for opening up and sharing your most intimate self with us. I can relate to the significance and shock of finding single gay brothers (via an online forum) and the grief of realising that they would never find someone to love and share their lives with while being Borg. Although married and gay at the time, this was the beginning of my very slow dismantling of my Borg life and marriage, to then live as my authentic self. I am so proud of all you have done and the way you recounted your story in such a heartfelt, humble and tender way.
Very happy to chat when you’re ready.
Christopher in South Australia
Hey Christopher
Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m so happy to hear you’re living life as your authentic self. Its the greatest feeling to be able to live our lives as our true selves. I appreciate the support and would love to keep in touch! I will send you a friend request on FB 😊
All this that you’ve gone through, and you still have happy, beautiful eyes and a smile that doesn’t end. You are beautiful inside and out and I am so lucky to have you as a friend. PM the addresses for “anointed lady” and “Brother H” I make them wish they had been kinder, send them porn subscriptions and Amazon gift them a bunch of gay men sex toys! 😈 😂