Xitlalitl was raised in a family impacted by borderline personality disorder as well as the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses. The former created many issues in the latter for young Xitlalitl as she struggled to fit in as they moved from place to place when her mom would have issues with people in the congregation. In the end when the constant gaslighting and the buy-in from congregation elders created a desperation to leave the situation, those feelings almost cost her everything. This is a callback to episode 29 with Nico as the two are in a relationship now and he helped her escape in more ways than one. This episode deals with BPD, depression, suicide, and the realities of the way the cult appeals to authority and recognizes title and position over people, from their beliefs to the way they “help” those in their midst.
The song that Xitlalitl chose to represent her journey is Thunderclap by Stefan Alexander.
Speaking of music, you can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show.
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Music by Fair Voyeur entitled “No Hell Yet”.
What an impactful story, Xitlalitl! While I was never JW, my mother also lived with Borderline. I listen to Shunned because my experience becoming a functional human is often somewhat similar to the stories of the folks who tell their stories. Never has a story here touched me like yours. There are quite a few parallels. I’m delighted to hear how you’ve taken to setting boundaries, and I hope the universe lets loose with all the accumulated happiness you’ve been due since childhood.
You are truly an amazing person to survive and become the beautiful person you seem to be. I left the organization many years ago and never looked back. I have found great joy in my life and much success. I have no doubt you will too. Feel free to contact me at anytime. I live in New Mexico.